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Subject: Updates and prayers for
Kaumadaki devi dasi
See offered prayers below
See Kaumadaki's Poetry
Collection
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Shraddha Ceremony held in
Vancouver,BC on July 9,2008 |
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Dear Friends
Please accept my obeisance. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada.
July 9, 2008 was the day for Kaumudaki's body to
be cremated.
The morning program that day, in Vancouver
temple where Their Lordships Sri Sri
RadhaMadanaMohana reside, was dedicated to
Kaumudaki dasi. At Srimad Bhagavatam class, the
devotees gathered and the story of her departure
was told. Directly after, at 8.30am there was a
ceremony outside in the temple garden. There,
Tulasi Maharani witnessed the occasion.
Vasudeva Das performed a Jagganatha Puri style
ceremony before a picture of Kaumudaki , with
prayers, fire , water, and flowers. An offering
of grain, seed and butter mixed together was
made and the remnants left for the messenger
crows to carry off the news of this passing to
the forefathers and beyond.. Flower petals were
offered to Kaumudaki's picture as devotees
circumambulated around and chanted Hare Krsna
Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare
Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.
Fruit was given to all the devotees in
Kaumudaki's name . The breakfast that followed
was in her honor.
The cremation time was schedualed for 11:00am.
After the cremation fire was ignited. The
attending devotees went directly outside the
door of the facility. At that time , Vasudeva
Das stood with a clay pot ( prepared during the
morning ceremony) on his head. He chanted some
prayer mantras for Godspeed and release. Then...
without looking back and immediately walking
away.... he tipped the clay pot back off his
head. It fell to the ground...smashing to pieces
and made a LOUD sound, like a cannon...louder
that I would ever expect.
The clay pot contained offerings and last drop
of water ...if it was at that time, the soul
needed to be satisfied before detaching
completely.
Not looking back ...is a lesson in detachment
for the departed as well as ourselves.
Now, everything is finished....and has just
begun.
When we returned to the temple, there was Raj
Bhog offering feast for Kaumudaki sponsored in
her family name. Some of the foods, that
Kaumudaki was fond of were prepared.
Peas,tomatoe and curd, plain rice, potato subji,
sweet rice, thin buttermilk nectar with
blueberries floating on top...blueberries again.
Her cousin Warren joined the devotees for lunch.
He was honored to accept Srila Prabhupada's
garland worn by Kaumudaki's picture.
In service to Srila Prabhupada,
Kriya |
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| Kaumadaki dasi
and visitors |
Kaumadaki and
Muralivadana |
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| Kaumadaki and
Stephanie |
Kaumadaki and
Baradraj |
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Kaumadaki's Hospice Room Alter |
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July 15, 2008
Hare Krsna Dear Friends
My obeisance. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Kaumudaki dasi's cremation was held at 11:15 am
on July 9 in Abbbotsford, BC witnessed by Warren
Jacobs (cousin),Vasudeva das, Padyavali dasi,
and Kriyashakti dd.
As per her request , her japa mala was burned
with her body. The closest male relative
(cousin), Warren Jacobs ignited the fire.
Dear friends , Thank you again and again ...and
again... for all of your support. Please excuse
my offenses and forgive my trespasses on this
journey.
This is the first time that I have been able to
write and I am realizing what an important part
of my process it has become. Srila Prabhupada
says that" We write for realization."
When I told Tadit that I was starting the
journey of 1000 miles to Canada I mis-wrote it
as 10000 miles. The literal distance was off...
but where this journey has taken me really is
10,000 miles... within...and it's so far out. I
has taken me some time to get a tiny glimpse of
how far I have gone.
There is more to be told ..
In service
Kriya
ps. From one who has gone before and says it so
well
Never slept so little
never cried so much
lost my concentration and I could
even loose my touch.
talkin to myself,
crying out loud .
knowing as you're leaving me,
I also loose my heart
Talkin to myself ,
crying as we part
knowing as I'm loosing you,
I also loose my heart.
I made some exhibition
I lost my will to eat
the only thing that matters to me
is to touch Your Lotus feet.
song by George Harrison
Dear Friends,
Please accept my obeisance. All glories to our
Guru Maharaj Srila Prabhupada.
Here are some more thoughts...
Saying from Kaumudaki..."How quickly the present
becomes the past."
When I first arrived in Vancouver at the
hospice. I visited Kaumudaki for a few days and
then "settled in". I was there 24/7 after that.
I cooked my meals in the guest kitchen. Slept on
a cot in Kaumudaki's room and showered down the
hall in the guest visitor bath. The nurses were
used to family members walking the halls in
their PJ's. I began to feel at home.
One of the visiting chaplains commented that he
didn't know how I was doing it....living there
full time....away from my usual things and my
usual life. I told him how eating and sleeping
were the same , either here or there, on a gold
plate or a tin plate. I realized that for a
devotee .. Home is anywhere... if that is the
place where the Holy Names of the Lord are sung
and praised.
On the first day that I was there... I was
moving way too fast and it took me awhile to
just slooooow down.
At the end of the day , Kaumudaki told me,
"Thank you for matching your energy to mine."
She was very perceptive.
in service,
Kriya
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Dear Friends,
Respectful obeisances and pranams. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
There is a lever on the side of the hospice bed for raising the side rails.
The note of where to 'pull up'(lavantar) and 'raising'(soulever) is written in
French. In a glance, I read the word as 'soul lever.'
How easy that would be.... to pull up on a lever and the soul could
automatically be raised up to the eternal destination. Some , in the past have
thought to make such inventions..a stairway to heaven, a time machine or other
artificial machines, LSD, or a colored crystal. Of course, there is no such
conveyance or contraptions... but Lord Caitanya has given one very easy
method,simple ansd sublime .....to awaken and raise our conscious by
transcendental sound vibration ....the chanting of Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna
Krsna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rame Rama Hare Hare.
I hear Kaumudaki, in her dreamlike states, having remembrances with soft
laughter, Sometimes her hands wave through the air as in dance. Once , I saw her
clap her hands and then make pranams with folded palms.
Last night, she told me that she had a dream.....
"I was in New Dwarka doing pujari work with Ram Das. There were so many other
devotees and I was very happy serving. There was no pain....maybe that's what
it's like. It was wonderful"
This has been a time of intense realization that the end could come at any
moment. Srila Prabhupada's chanting/singing 24/7 has been going on 24/7 for the
past month since I've been here. Kaumudaki is always eager to be read to, loves
to hear when I sing a bhajan and read the translations...she is especially fond
of Arunodaya-kirtan and says "again". Watching DVD's have now become difficult
to focus on.
Her regret and anxiety is that it is difficult for her to focus on japa... the
voice has become weak and the attention short....so she does what she can. She
tells me that she "knows all the words, but doesn't know how to dance to the
song."
Chant Hare Krsna and be happy!
In service
Kriya
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June, 2008
Dear Friends,
Hare Krsna . All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
I've arrived safely in Canada and was happy to meet with
old friends along the way. Now, to again meet with a
dear friend godsister and others that I didn't even know
that I had. Srila Prabhupada has given us a wonderful
family... Vancouver temple is very nice with lots of
congregation participation and is famous all over the
world for their Maha Tulasi's and there is a Maha Tulasi
Festival next week. The temple room is made into a
Vrndavanaforest and I look forward to the occasion.
Kaumadaki is in St Michaels Hospice. The nurses are all
very helpful and the mood is friendly with attentive
care. There is a small kitchen facility here so I am
able to prepare some simple prasadam . Kaumadaki told me
that her mind & heart is so much satisfied by this.Srila
Prabhupada is so kind upon us to give some service to
the devotees.
Lala Gopal is here in the room with us and has a sitting
place that can be opened and closed. There is a wall
shelf with pictures of India Holy Places and one of
Kaumadaki's favorite pics of Krsna.
I walk down the hall and feel so enriched by everything
that Srila Prabhupada has given us. We are surrounded
here by others close to death....all in different
stages. Some are absorbed in television and the next
episode, others play cards and then there are those who
are unconscious and wait unknowingly for the last
breath.
We try to incorporate as much visual and audio of Srila
Prabhupada as possible...the dvd's and mp3's. Last night
we heard a lecture and SP spoke of death. I kept looking
at Kaumadaki to see if she was ok with this and she
expressed that SP is so kind....like a ksatriya with a
sharp sword he cuts thru the hard knot of ahankara with
his sharp words.
Thank you Srila Prabhupada.
In service,
Kriyashakti dd
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Sent: Sunday, June 8, 2008 10:41:09 AM
Subject: Wonderful friends
Dear Friends
Please accept my obeisances. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada.
Some reflections...
Kaumadaki.. "in this life I probably would have made
some wonderful friends...but I have sooooo many
wonderful friends that are possible only because of
Srila Prabhupada."
yesterday I got some fresh strawberries and offered them
to Lala,then gave one to Kaumadaki... she put the
strawberry to her nose and inhaled the sweet fragrance
with her eyes closed and then slowly savored the taste.
It is the little things in life that count that we so
often take for granted . The perceptions of one who is
about to die are different from those who take life and
all that it holds for granted.
In service
Kriya
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Sent: Sunday, June 15, 2008 7:22:20 PM
Journey 2
Dear Friends,
Dandavats. All Glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Sometimes in the evening when the lights are out and
before we fall
asleep ...I use a flashlight to read aloud by. Last
night we sang some
bhajans and then read thru the translations of Sri
Isopanishad. My
favorite mantras have always been 17 & 18.
Mantra 17
Let this temporary body be burned to ashes, and let the
air of life be
merged with the totality of air. Now, O my Lord, please
remember all my
sacrifices ,and because you are the ultimate
Beneficiary, please
remember all that I have done for You.
Mantra 18
O my Lord, powerful as the fire, Omnipotent One, now I
do offer You all
my obeisances, falling at Your Feet on the ground. O My
Lord, please
lead me on the right path to reach You , and, as You
know all that I
have done in the past, please make me free from the
reactions to my
past sins, so there will be no hinderance to my
progress.
We come to this world with no desire or expectation to
die.. death is
not programmed into an infinite immortal nature....the
nature of our
soul. But when I see that this has happened to others,
there is a tiny
glimmer of awakening that one day this may also happen
to me. A very
Buddha-like realization. We think that it may be
tomorrow or the next
day, but certainly not today . So then the question
arises "Why must I
die?" Srila Prabhupada says that this an important self
realization.
A God sister once told me that her devotee sister had
become
terminally ill. One day she told her sister, " You're
going to die".
Her sister looked at her and said" Oh? And you're not?"
Our Srila Prabhupada will not forget what we have
done... however
small.He will save us from the greatest fear. He will
personally come
and take our hand and deliver us to the Lotus feet of
the Lord. It is
not by our own strength that we can accomplish this.
If anyone would like to send a card to Kaumadaki
.....here is the
address.
Heather Anderson Room 14
c/o St Michael's Centre
7451 Sussex Ave
Burnaby, BC
V5J 5C2
Canada
Kaumadaki told me that a few months back, there was a
rumor that she
was on the verge of leaving and a flood of letters came
from well
wishers and friends saying Goodbyes.
I think that is a wonderful thing to have time for
closure with the
ones that we love. The effect that this has on both
parties is so
beneficial and important as a loving exchange.
So many devotees have thanked me for being here with
Kaumadaki. I know
that so many of you had a desire to serve her in this
way also and
would be here if you could. It is only with your prayers
that I can do
this. There is so much realization that comes along with
the
opportunity to serve ...like hearing Srimad Bhagavatam
...both the
speaker and the listener benefit. Those who receive
service in a time
of need and the ones serving are benefitted.
In service
Kriya
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Sent: Tuesday, June 17, 2008 8:29:51 PM
Subject: JOURNEY 3
Dear Friends,
My obeisances. All glories to our Srila
Prabhupada.
To everyone who has sent emails .....
Please knoow that they have been passed
on to Kaumudaki and she extends her many
thanks and deepest gratitude for the
devotees who have contacted her. Emails
can be send directly to me at ...spiritsoul_108@yahoo.com.
To speak very plainly...death is not an
easy concept to come to terms with. Oh
yes...there is the philisophical
understanding and everything that we
have heard of from Srila Prabhupada.....
I think that death is one of his most
lectured topics. When we were in our
20's and hearing ....it was not so much
a relevant subject for us in term of
practical application. and realization.
We never thought that we would die or
that Srila Prabhupada would ever leave
us ...until Srila Prabhupada gave us the
Final Lesson. Now, as we grow older and
have all been personally touched by this
reality ...the realization has hit home
in very profound ways and we know that
we cannot escape. We have more
information than anyone else in The Art
of Dying. Prayer is so imprtant to help
direct the soul on the Homeward Journey
as the sense of hearing is enlivened
until the time of passing from this
world.
Our body, being composed mostly water
has a memory of our actions performed
during a lifetime. I heard an account
of a devotee who spent his last days in
a comalike state with his fingers of the
right hand moving to count beads on
the Tulasi mala.There was another
devotee who came to Srila Prabhupada
later on in his life and had
previously spent a number of years in
the military. When I visited him in the
hospital, close to his passing..he was
in a coma state and his arms were
straight by his side moving back and
forth. My instant realization was.."He's
marching.He's reviewing his life." When
I visited a few days later he was moving
invisible Tulasi beads in his fingers.
Again, the memory .... and importance of
an spiritual activity performed.
On our own ,we cannot reach the
Supreme Destination...but assisted by
the Holy Name by the grace of Srila
Prabhupada we can easily conquer the
greatest difficulty. As Srila Prabhupada
tells us that some endeavor ,so
seemingly impossible...like crossing a
great ocean with tossing waves and a
fathomless bottom.. can be reduced to a
very simple task. The great ocean that
we thought to be absolutely impossible
to cross and reach the other side
....will be reduced to the amount of
water contained in the hoofprint of a
calf ...which even a child can easily
jump over.
There are so many disasters in the
world news now. Cyclones in Burma.
Eathquakes in China. Fires in
California. Floods in the Midwest U.S.
Close you eyes and imagine for a
moment... that a sudden, unforseen great
disaster has fallen and you are
required to evacuate immediatly. NOW!
There is no time to take any
possessions, say good byes ,or contact
loved ones or know of their whereabouts
or safety .Use this opportunity to
imagine the confusion , fear ,and
anxiety of a sudden death. Feel that. We
have seen enough news clips to make that
very real in our minds. What would that
be like?
For those who have the opportunity to
prepare. For those who know that the end
is only at the next turn...anytime
now....what a great boon! As Maharaja
Pariksit realized ...when he prepared
himself with a 7 day evacuation notice.
Many of those who have gone before...our
godbothers and sisters... are being
given such advance notice. So we have
the opportunity to "unpack" for the
final journey. I think that this is the
Supreme Lord's mercy upon us.
There is an old pop song that has been
going around in my head lately. I think
that it sings of the Lord's mercy upon
His devotees who He will never forget.
He is our Dearmost Friend.
You just call out My name
and you know where ever I am ,I"ll come
running.....
to see you again.
Winter, spring,summer,or fall- all
you've got to do is call
and I'll be there. You've got a friend.
In service
Kriya
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Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2008 10:42:02
AM
Subject: JOURNEY HOME 4
Dear Friends
Dandavats again & again. All glories to
Srila Prabhupada.
Thank you so much to all who have
expressed interest in the accounts of
this Journey. It is all of you who are
enlivening me . Please excuse me if I
cannot answer each of you individually
or if my answers are brief ...as I am
trying to put my energy into one update
...but please please continue to email
me or contact Kaumudaki thru me. A
public posting has been suggested. If
anyone has knows how to do this or wants
to do the posting that's OK too.
Again...and again... I am grateful for
your encouragement.
There is a woman in the next room , with
whom I have had friendly encounters when
I would see her strolling the halls,
holding onto her walker. I have seen her
go thru various stages of demise. She is
now unable to get out of bed and her
breathing is now assisted by oxygen.
When I passed by her open door today,
she waved and motioned for me to come
in.
She took my hand and said , "I just want
to go home."
I told her ... "our real home is with
God."
After leaving her room I began to think
of the meaning of the word "home" and
how Srila Prabhupada's banner slogan
became our mantra for rally.. "Back
Home..Back to Godhead. How perfect
knowledge is so concise and how expertly
Srila Prabhupada crafted this brief
message. A message that said it all...in
one stroke of a pen.
There are more meanings given in the
dictionary than the ones that I've
listed below ...but these I found most
relevant.
home (hom)
noun
1. The place where one lives
permanently, esp. as a member of a
family or household.
* a place where something flourishes, is
most typically found, or from which it
originates.
adverb
* to the end or conclusion of a race or
something difficult.
* to the intended or correct position.
This temporary world is perfectly
designed for us to develop a character
suitable to live in a place with a
permanent gentle nature. As Srila
Prabhupada says that this is no place
for a gentleman/lady. We are fortunate
to have this extended family ....not
always easy to appreciate. Like in any
family...there are the inlaws and the
outlaws. But there lies a lesson in
tolerance and kindness to all living
entities. We cannot always be for others
as they would wish us to be. But there
is ONE Who is always there for us.
That HOME has an eternal,blissful nature
where every word is a song and every
step is a dance. From whence we came and
to where to we will go. We race around
the playing field, touch all of the
bases and then run for eternal life to
'home' plate....encouraged by the
cheering crowds. Haribol!
Home...this is our rightful place. As
Lord Sri Krsna's loving search for the
return of the long lost servant, when
one calf might be missing from the herd
and Gopal sets out to search...not to
return home until the lost one is found
or the Biblical prodigal son who returns
to his rightful place at the fathers
home. Lord Gauranga is calling,
beckoning all of the lost souls to find
their way by following the sound of the
Holy Name.
So is there any coincidence that 'HOME'
has the same sound as 'OM'
the original sound vibration ?
Back to Home...Back to Godhead.
Homeward bound
In service,
Kriya
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Posted
June 21, 2008
Journey 5
Hare Krsna Dear Friends,
Pranams. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada.
Now I know why the nurse is one of the 7
mothers.
It is natural for a mother to care for
her own child.... to take care of all
bodily needs, feed , comfort, hold, love
and protect. The love continues to
expand and grow as the child grows and
the mother still remembers the baby
sweetness. Srila Prabhupada says this
love between a mother and child is the
closest thing to unconditional love,
here in the material world.
Now, it takes a special kind of person
to care for another adult with unbounded
compassion and caring in a motherly way.
Taking care of all bodily needs and
concerns of a complete stranger. Such an
advanced level of realization is
certainly God realization......of seeing
the person not as the body....but as a
personal life residing within the body.
The hospice nurses have a motto of
"taking care of the whole person." An
advanced level of realization that
extends beyond bodily care. The person
outside and the person inside. The bird
and the bird cage.
All faiths are accepted here... though
the name St MIchael's might denote a
denomination...there is no question or
criticism of another's process even if
there is no process. But this is like a
battle field. I remember hearing a story
of a recruit who had wrote down "athiest"
as his religion choice on his army
application. The reviewing officer
looked at it and said "Son, in this army
there are no athiests. When the bullets
fly ...everyone says "O God please help
me."
There is a pastor who comes to pray with
us here and we had a prayer circle the
other day. I later heard from the nurses
at the station that when he stopped by
there after visiting Kaumadaki's room...
he was shaking his head in wonderment.
He said that he "rarely comes away from
visiting a patient's room feeling like
he is the one who has been
comforted...there is something very
special going on in there."
In service
Kriya
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JOURNEY 7 PRAYER
CIRCLE
June 22, 2008
Dear Friends,
My obeisances. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada... our ever well wisher.
I'm sure that everyone has received the
sort of email that promises
boons,miracles, and good things to
happen if you forward it on......
When I first thought of doing a
realization account of this journey. My
intention was that it would be a sort of
prayer circle. With some reminder, we
could keep a loved one in our prayers.
I'm noting that alot of readers have
shared these accounts with others and so
the circle widens. Intention is a
popular word these days and prayer is
very powerful. Thank you to everyone who
can remember to keep Kaumudaki in their
prayers by these mailings.
There is a songwriter by the name of
Kate Wolf who has written in a very
beautiful way...what I would like to
pass onto you, Dear Friends. For me,
this song seems to expresses the intent
of these accounts.There was one line
that I had to think about at first...and
decide it it was expessing the sentiment
that I was feeling...then understood
that it was. Kate writes...Love can't
give you everything, but it will give
you what you need"....I understand the
"everything" as material. Love won't
give us riches,fame etc... but it will
give us what we really "need".
In the line.."Love is born in fire and
planted like a seed" speaks so plainly
of an initiation and the planting if the
seed mantra of love.....also the fires
of our tribulations.
GIVE YOURSELF TO LOVE
Kind friends all gathered round, there's
something I would say
What brings us together here, has
blessed us all today.
Love has made a circle that holds us all
inside
Strangers are as family, and loneliness
can't hide.
You must give yourself to love, if love
is what you're after.
Open up your heart to the tears and
laughter...
and give yourself to love.
I've walked these mountains in the rain,
I've learned to love the wind.
I've been up before the sunrise to watch
the day begin.
And I always knew I'd find You, though I
never did know how.
Like sunshine on a cloudy day, You stand
before me now.
Love is born in fire and planted like a
seed.
Love can't give you everything, but it
will give you what you need.
Love comes when you are ready, love
comes when you are afraid.
It will be your best Teacher, the best
Friend you ever made.
Kate Wolf
My thoughts...
We've overcome our mountains of trials
in adverse conditions and come to love
what our trials bring. How they have
made us stronger and wiser. So many of
us came thru the "dark night of the
soul" ....waiting for the dawn and
finding Srila Prabhupada standing before
us shining like the sun.
He comes to us through Lord Gauranga's
Love.
We are strangers who have come together
as a family by Srila prabhupada's
calling.
In service
kriya
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JOURNEY 8 RAIN
Dear Friends
Obeisances. Jai Srila Prabhupada!
The other evening one of the nurses was
telling me of her realization...
She was tending to a patient who was
unable to get out of bed and
ailing...close to the end. The woman
asked her what the weather was like
outside. So, the nurse was telling the
woman that it was raining and how
everyone was so tired of the rain. The
woman was quite for a moment and then
said in a wistful voice..." I would love
to be able to go for a walk in the
rain."
At that moment the
nurse realized how ungrateful she
herself was for what she had and was
able to do. She told me that she never
complains about the rain or other small
things now.
The next day, I was taking a walk and it
started to rain. I lifted my face to the
falling drops and thanked Krsna for so
much kindness upon this fallen soul. In
my apartment in Calif, I have some of
those alphabet letters that stick to the
refrig. I change them around every now
and then...but "BE GRATEFUL" is a
reminder that has stuck around for a
long time.
Once, my sister was waiting in a check
out line at the store and there was a
woman in front of her who was
complaining about everything...the
service, the store, the clerks, the day,
the traffic, and on and on. My sister
started to snap her fingers every second
and said..."Do you know what happens
every second?" The woman looked at her
really puzzled and said "No."
My sister told her that every other
second in every minute, every hour,
every day... someone dies of starvation
and 85% of the time it's a child....
Well that just about puts everything
into perspective doesn't it?
The devotees here in Vancouver have been
very supportive and kind. I have been
able to spend some time with Padyavali
dd who is full of stories of her
adventures in KC. She told me that her
sister was in an auto accident when she
was 21 years old and was in a lot of
pain from the effect of the accident.
Srila Prabhupada came to know of her
situation and wrote that "she must
tolerate." For 31 years... more than
half her life... she tolerated ...Xtreme
pain.
No matter what condition of life, we
have to tolerate and we hear of the
lesson that we can learn from the tree.
"To be more tolerant than a tree and
devoid of all sense of false prestige.
In such a state of mind one can chant
the Holy Name of the Lord constantly."
Will we be able to chant or will we be
cursing the fates that have but us in an
adverse situation?
I will leave you with a table prayer
that Padyavali's family would say during
the war. When times here hard and food
was scarce.
Thank you Lord for what we have,
If we had more we would be glad.
But times they are so bad
We must put up with what we have.
In service
Kriya
tolerate tolerate tolerate
And be grateful for what we have
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Dear Friends
My obeisances to all. All glories to our
ever well wisher Srila Prabhupada.
Last night we went to Radha Kunda in
Vrindavana.
A Godbrother gave us a DVD parikram led
by Dina Bhandu . So last night, we
purchased out tickets and went for a
wonderful spiritual journey. Our minds
were completely soothed by views of the
Holy Dham and we felt ourselves
transported. Complete... in the company
of the assembled devotees. Feeling the
warm sun, walking the busy streets,
sitting squished together in small
temples,feeling the rough hewn stone as
we sat and listened on steps of Radha
Kund.
We heard how Radha and Krsna sport in
the sublime waters. When the splashing
play overwhelmes Srimati Radhika, she
hides among the golden lotuses. Krsna
becomes anxious for loosing the vision
of His Dearly Beloved and begins to look
here and there. He is clued to Her
whereabouts when he sees that one golden
lotus has attracted the attention of the
honey seeking bees. The bees are seeking
the sweetness if Sri Radha's lotuslike
face. The youthful Krsna embraces His
found Radha and playfully hides from Her
in turn. Now Sri Radha becomes anxious.
This time, it is the monkeys who have
spied Sri Krsna among the blue lotuses
and have given away His hiding place.
Then again, the Divine Couple are united
in loving sport.
Kaumudaki's name referrs to that round
inside portion of the lotus flower.
The cushion pad where Lord Krsna stands
or the sitting place for the Divine
Couple.
We journey around Radha Kunda and follow
our guide. We visit hidden ,on the way
places...take darshana. We are able to
press pause and linger,stay for a while,
remember and relish. Even we were able
to take the waters of Radha Kunda on our
heads!
All Glories to Sri Vrndavana Dhama. All
glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories
to the assembled devotees!
In service,
Kriya
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Journey 9 An Amazing Catch
Hare Krsna Dear Friends
Obeisances from all sides. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Last week, on the opening page of Yahoo there was a video/story of a girl
baseball player who made an amazing corner catch. Some of you might have seen
it. She caught a high ball at least 20 feet in the air by running/climbing the
corner and stretching up to make the catch.
Last night I made an amazing catch.....not because I think that I'm anybody
great. This I would like to share , because it gave me realization of how great
Srila Prabhhupada's mercy upon us is...how he continually cares for us. Some
would say that such accounts are personal and should be kept to one's self. But
I would say, amongst friends, such exchanges can be understood and shared.
Last night I had a dream that Srila Prabhupada had arrived at a temple and a
small group of devotees greeted him. We followed him to a room where he sat down
on a thick, plaid cushion on the floor....as in a room setting....and he slowly
took off a sock from his lotus foot and threw it to me... and I caught it!
Immediately, I wrapped the sock around my head and tied it under my chin and
looked at Srila Prabhupada with a big smile. He looked at me lovingly and
laughingly smiled. Then he took off the other sock and someone else caught that
one.
End of dream...
but not the end of the feeling ...that I hope will never leave....that Srila
Prabhupada's mercy is there for us. We just have to catch it.
In service,
Kriya
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Journey 12
Turn In The Road
Dear Friends
My respects and regards to all. Jai Srila
Prabhupada.
Kaumadaki dasi has made a turn in the road
on this journey. This change has been
happening gradually over the past week. She
now has random moments of wakefulness in a
dreamlike/ coma state. This is all happening
on a cellular level as her body is beginning
to shut down. The short poem that she wrote,
responding to Srila Bhaktivinode Thakur was
a superhuman effort of determination and
will on her part. Her eyesight was failing
and her hand could barely hold the pen. If I
surprise her with an unexpected "Hare Krsna!
Radhe Radhe !" when I enter the room ...her
eyelids flutter and she responds like a
little parrot....sometimes. Each day is
different... but Mother Earth will soon feel
the burden of another wonderful devotee who
has left us.
Srila Prabhupada is chanting bhajan 24/7 as
per her request....as always. I have put a
small earphone in one ear to make it the
most prominent sound in her consciousness.
Everyday, since I have been here, I protect
the room with Nrsingha oil from Mayapur Dham.
The nurses all comment "how nice it smells
in here." Several times during the day, I
shower mist her with the sacred waters of
Radha Kunda.
If there was ever a time for us to
collectively petition and pray to our Srila
Prahupada to please take her hand and guide
her ....it is now.
Please pass this request along.
Begging to remain in service,
Kriyashakti dd
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JOURNEY 13 Herding Grapefruits
Dear Friends
My obeisance. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada.
In 2004, I attended my Mom at the last
stages of her life. She made a repetitive
action of putting on her PJ's, setting her
hair in curlers, and then going to bed. An
hour later she would be up again, take her
hair out of the curlers, and go into the
kitchen for something to eat. After a while
my sister & I would just go with the flow
and sit in the kitchen with her....help her
make toast & tea so that she didn't burn the
house down. Then, when my Mom realized that
it was still night, she would put her hair
up in curlers again and go back to bed
.....and then get up again an hour or so
later. This happened 4-5 times in the course
of the night.
Another devotee told me that her mother had
her picking up imaginary grapefruits that
were all over the floor. So the devotee
would disappear from view at the foot of the
bed for a while, to round up the stray
grapefruits and then declare the job done.
Darn those grapefruits! Who can have any
peace with grapefruits all over the floor
anyway?
Someone else told me that their Aunt was
constantly organizing imaginary piles of
bills that were all over the table.
So, as you may know, Kaumudaki worked as a
paralegal for many years of her life. She is
very meticulous in her affairs and
correspondence. Careful always to cross the
t's and dot the i's and always making lists.
In the past weeks, she has woken me up in
the middle of the night to take
dictation..."This is very important" she
would say and she would start... "Dear
capital S...So&So ...comma,....next line
..capital P...please accept my humble
obeisances...period. All glories to capital
S... Srila ..capital P ....Prabhupadad...period.
then she would doze off and I'm waiting, pen
poised ready to take dictation. A little
while later, she would wake up and say "OK.
Now read back to me what you've got." So I
would read it back and she would say "Is
that all?" So, she would review the
composition out loud and then doze off to
sleep for a while and say again "OK. Read to
me what you've got so far." Some of
Kaumadaki's remembrances of actions that she
has performed, is composing letters in
devotional service. How absolute and
wonderful is the nature of service.....
Another time, in the middle of the night it
was very important to make a telephone list.
Getting a little wise to this already, I
tried to reason with her "But we've already
made the telephone list." "No, no. This one
is different." she said. So... she rattled
off a list of names . Then I had to get out
the purple phone book and look up the
numbers for the names and write them down.
(We had this list already) When I read them
back to her...home & cell numbers had to be
included. Then she said, "Now, put them in
alphabetical order." Bad servant that I am
...I said "I am NOT putting them in
alphabetical order. You have to give this
up." And in a moment of clarity, she laughed
and laughed. We both had a good laugh over
that.
Through the tears and the laughter...
In service,
Kriya
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JOURNEY 14 A GIFT TO SRILA BHAKTIVINODE
THAKUR
Dear Friends,
Respectful obeisance. All glories to Srila
Prabhupada.
The other evening we were discussing the
poem by Bhaktivinode Thakur
"Forget the past that sleeps
and ne'er the future dream at all,
but live with times that are with thee
and progress thee shall call."
So we started to discuss the meaning of
this. I declared the Thakur to be the
original "Be here now" philosopher and
propounder of "Let it be".
And Kaumadki immediately began to compose
prose in response. She would count the
meters of rhyme on her fingers ...and
slowly.... a 4 lined response began to take
shape. Nothing would do except that the
final composition was in her own hand. I
supported her head, so that she could see as
she wrote and held the board steady for her
. After an hour or more, the result, which
is a response to the previous verse
emerged...
O Holy Thakur:
This listener stops corruption
At the eleventh hour,
Hoping that new production
And new, true love will flower.
Kaumudaki
June 30,2008
In service,
Kriya
PS. A messenger has just arrived at the door
with a gift from Yamuna Devi & Dinatarine
dd. It is dust from "Bhakti Kutir", the
house of Bhaktivinode Thakur in Puri.
All glories to the merciful Thakur
Bhaktivinode Ki Jai!!!!! All glories to the
devotees of the Lord KI Jai !!!
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JOURNEY 15 THE ROOM IS FULL
Dear Friends,
Hare Krsna. My obeisance. All glories to
Srila Prabhupada.
All of the nurses here are very much amazed
at how strong Kaumadaki's will is, and how
they have never heard a complaint from
her...ever. I consider that 'OH! OH!" in a
moment of extreme discomfort to be a comment
rather than a complaint.
Last Monday morning, after a sponge bath,
Kaumadaki said that she felt "all fresh and
clean....as was possible," She took her japa
mala in her hand and as is her habit, began
by saying" Purified or unpurified, or having
passed through all situations, one who
remembers the Lotus Eyed Supreme personality
of Godhead, is cleansed without and within.
Jaya Sri Krsna Chaitanya , Prabhu Nitynanda,
Sri Advaita , Gadadhara, Srivasadi - Goura -
Bhakta Vrnda." Then, she started to chant.
After a moment she said...
"Who are all the devotees that are here? Is
this a picnic? There are so many devotees
here ... there are so many, it's like their
faces are on a patchwork quilt. Where will
they all sit? Please tell them to excuse me
if I can't keep my eyes open."
In service.
Kriya
Kind friends all gathered 'round,
there's something I would say
what brings us together here
has blessed us all today....
Love has made a circle that holds us all
inside
Song by Kate Wolf
PS. to everyone who has inquired...all
journey accounts may be read at
www.vaisnavascare.com.
If you would like to send an email to be
read to Kaumadaki..please send to
www.Spiritsoul_108@yahoo.com
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July 7, 2008
Dear Friends
My obeisance. Jai Srila Prabhupada.
Saturday through Monday (June 30-July 2) and
even part of Tues morning was a time of a
very active state of realization for
Kaumadaki. She was able to speak a little of
what she was experiencing and I would ask
her questions and she would sometimes
respond. Other times she would fall silent.
I always had a pen and paper at hand to
record these moments.
The following are comments that she made at
various times on different days during this
time.
***********
Once she seemed a bit restless and I went to
her side to attend her. In a
moment of absolute clarity, as I bent near
her, she looked me straight in the eye and
said, "We being guided, Kriya. Divinely
guided. "
***********
Kaumudaki,"I see trees....all different
colors. they are grouped in
colors...segregated. There are
children...toddlers....all smiling.
I asked, "Do you see Krsna with the
children?"
Then she raised her head and opened her eyes
and looked at me as if I was stupid and
crazy and said," Krsna is everywhere."
She laid her head back down and closed her
eyes and continued..." He's in everything.
I'm a little boy. I want to say, 'I love
you.' to the trees. "
Me..."Are you one of the children?"
Kaumudaki, "Yes."
***********
Another time...
" I finally get to go to Krsna. I finally
get to go to Krsna."
************
One afternoon I left the room to for a short
time to prepare some lunch prasad. When I
returned she was waving her arms in front of
her in anxiety. I tried to soothe her by
catching a waving hand and holding it.
Kaumadaki.."I'm wanting Krsna soooo much.
How can I get to Krsna?
I said," Chant Krsna Krsna and you can get
to Him.
"It's so subtle, Kriya. The material is so
subtle. What's between
me and Krsna?? Can you see anythng there?"
She waved her arms in front to her like a
blind person clearing the way.
Kriya..."I only see Srila Prabhupada between
you and Krsna. He'll
bring you to Krsna."
***********
Another time she was pleading."I want to go
to Radha Kunda. I want to go
to Radha Kunda.
So I said, "OK! Let's go. Right now!"
Kaumadaki in vague realization of her
present condition repsonded " How will I go?
Will you wheel the hospital bed?"
I told her " No, I will carry you."
And she started to sing like a little
girl..." Time to go to Radha Kunda...time to
go to Radha Kunda" O How beautiful!"
I visualized Radha Kunda to her..."Can you
see the stone steps at Radha Kunda ?... can
you feel the chains that lead down to the
water? Can you feel the cooling water?" And
then I misted us with Radha Kunda water.
note: this reminds me of a portion of a poem
written by A.E. Housman
The time you won your town the race,
we chaired you through the marketplace.
Men and boy stood cheering by
and home we brought you shoulder high.
Kaumadaki is one of us...from our own town
and village...and she has for sure won the
race and we are so proud of her..for the
hard work , for the race she has run. And we
will carry her shoulder high around the
while we all cheer her Homeward.
*******
Another time she called me to her side...
"I am so fortunate that you are here to show
me the way of the absolute truth at this
time of death. Fortunately, there are no
material obstacles."
Me..."It's my good fortune to be here. All
glories to Srila Prabhupada."
**********
Kaumudaki..."I always thought that Krsna
Consciousness was for everyone else.
I questioned her, "Do you feel Krsna in you
consciousness?"
Kaumudaki...."Yes...I always thought that it
was for everyone else"
************
In service,
Kriya
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July 10, 2008
May Shri
Krishna accept her in His personal service.
SANJEEV
YADAV
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July 10, 2008
My
dear friend Kaumadaki,
I am remembering our special time together in Vraj,
kirtan ashram, a
couple years ago. it was the first time meeting you, and
immediately an
eternal bond was formed. you are a very, very special
soul and so dear to
Srila Prabhupada and the devotees. often I look at the
pictures of our
bathing adventures in the holy Jamuna. Your kindness and
generosity to
all those you met was beyond compare. With all my heart
I want to express
my sincere gratitude and affection to you. I'm sure
Prabhupada and Krsna
have fulfilled all your spiritual desires. You were
always so eager to
hear Krsna katha and you so lovingly would recite
Krsna's pastimes from
memory, full of taste and appreciation
I hope we meet again,
ys,
kaulini dasi
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July 10, 2008
My
Dear Kaumadaki Mataji,
Please accept my most humble obeisances. All glories to
Srila Prabhupada
and your lifelong service to him.
Before hearing the news of your auspicious departure
from this world, I
had just seen one of Yadubara Prabhu's Following Srila
Prabhupada DVDs,
where you were speaking so nicely about Srila Prabhupada
and how wonderful
it was to be in his personal association. Your sincerity
was so perfect
and complete, I immediately felt what you said.
My prayer on this morning is that Lord Krishna takes you
to Prabhupada's
lotus feet, where you can serve him forever to your
heart's content. You
may be a gopi or a blade of grass, but you will be with
him. Of this there
is no doubt.
Please accept my humble obeisances at your lotus feet.
Hare Krishna,
Koumadaki Prabhu!
Your grateful servant,
Suresvara dasa
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July 7, 2008
Although we didn't know you personally, Mother Kaumudaki,
it's obvious that you're
so much loved and cared for by so many great souls in
this world and beyond -- and
rightly so, of course.
While looking through your pictures on the Vaisnavas
Care website, we were both
awestruck by your spiritual beauty and aura which shines
through like dazzling
sunshine. What a tender, gentle and loving soul you are,
Mother Kaumudaki. Those who
knew you as a friend were certainly amongst the luckiest
of souls in the universe.
There's one photo in particular which has caught our
eye. It's entitled, "Kaumadaki
and Baradraj." Your pure spiritual effulgence
illuminates the entire room and even
reaches out beyond the photograph and touches (purifies)
the heart(s) of those who
have the splendid fortune of gazing into your deep
spiritual eyes so full of wisdom
and compassion. After having your darshan, we feel
spiritually uplifted and blessed,
as we're certain so do many others contacting such a
great soul as your good self, a
most sincere disciple of Srila Prabhupada, our eternal
father and master.
By the way, Mother Kaumudaki, we adore your poetry as
well -- and this one in
particular:
Transition
Transition comes
And life moves on -
A sunset here,
And there, the dawn.
BY KAUMUDAKI dd
Just a few simple words say it all perfectly.
You lived this life and left this world in the very best
way possible.
Thank you for leaving a wonderful example for us all to
follow.
Hope to see you soon in the Spiritual Sky.
God Bless all your remaining loved ones here, and we
know that you've reached the
supreme destination above. Congratulations!
Momji and son
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July 7, 2008
Dear Lord Krsna and Lord Balarama,
I
am humbly begging Your Lordships to give Your eternal
shelter to Your sincere and
loving servant, Kaumadaki devi dasi, having given so
much of her life in Your divine
service. Please keep her forever at Your lotus feet.
Your humble servant,
Sangita devi dasi
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June 28, 2008
My dear Kaumadaki
Prabhuji,
I first met you so
many years ago in the Los Angeles temple when you were
working so hard for the BBT to grow. You were so sincere
in wanting to
please our Srila Prabhupada. I was very young, but
remember watching you
and hoping that one day I would become as serious a
devotee as you were
then. I am still praying for that.
I know that Srila Prabhupada is with you now and will be
with you during
your final journey. You have pleased him so very much
during your life and
he will reciprocate with you by taking your hand and
bringing you directly
to Lord Krsna. So, please do not worry. You are in good
hands. Srila
Prabhupada is coming for you and you will be able to see
our Guru in his
true, spiritual form. How blessed you are! I pray that
you remain as
comfortable as possible throughout this disease process.
I am so grateful
to Kriya for being there with you, holding your hand
along the way. This
will be your last journey, your final journey and soon
you will be in a
place so wonderful that you will never suffer pain
again. We will always
remember you and your devotional mood. You have been
exemplary.
With love,
Sangita devi dasi
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June 21, 2008
Dear Kaumadaki devi
dasi,
I humbly offer my respectful obeisances to
you and pray
that you will always feel the love and blessings
of all the devotees and friends
that are around you in all situations that you are
having to overcome. I pray that
the Lord will keep you safe and by His merciful glance
enrich You with his Pure
Love, giving you eternally the Divine shelter of HDG
Srila Prabhupada. May you always
be blessed.
Humbly requesting to be always Yours
in the service of SP and
Devotees,
Lilavilasini dd
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June 20, 2008
My dear Lord Sri Krnsa,
I humbly pray to You that
You will continue to shower Kaumadaki devi dasi with
Your divine mercy. Please bless her to constantly
concentrate on Your divine self. Kindly allow her
to think always of Your wonderful pastimes and to
remember the words of her beloved spiritual master,
Srila Prabhupada. Please give her spiritual peace
and physical calm at this turning point in her life.
Your humble servant,
Jusaniya devi dasi
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